Michael Kahn

Not Me

One time two times you played it cute

Always knew which way my shoes were tied

I never did give you a gun to shoot

Never tiled your kitchen though lord knows you tried

You were spying me out

You were leaving no doubt

What you wanted was my heart

You made your plans right from the start

 

You wanted someone at your beck and call

Someone to kiss you passionately

To cook you dinner and paint the hall

Someone to serve you crumpets and tea

 

It just ain’t gonna be me

 

I wasn’t your first though you said I was

And for a while I even believed

But you’ve had more guys than a peach has fuzz

You’ve done stuff I never even conceived

 

I was wasting days

Going out in a blaze

I was pumping lead

With your perfume in my head

 

You need a man who is so naïve

He will accept what you pretend to be

Someone who would never think to leave

Someone to entreat you on bended knee

 

It just ain’t gonna be me

 

Your friend came over when you weren’t around

Told me I was cute and asked about my CD

I told her what I’d lost she hadn’t found

Guess you choose your friends real carefully

 

I was getting it slow

I was needing to know

I was having a doubt

I was thinking bout heading out

 

You need a guy to make you feel adored

A lover who will need you constantly

Who will change the channel when you get bored

There must be someone who will set you free

 

It just ain’t gonna be me

 

So it was no surprise when I took my stuff

Found my razor in your second drawer

We both knew it went on long enough

We didn’t need a transcript to know the score

 

You said to call you sometime

Or maybe meet you online

Or put a letter in the mail

Come visit if you’re ever in jail

 

I said you need someone with a heart of gold

Someone who will hold you tenderly

Someone who will love you when you get old

For your every lock he will have the key

 

It just ain’t gonna be me